I took the kids to the doctor for their 5 year and 15 month checkup.
I have never hated them more.
I used to love doctor appointments with Hadley...but then I added Carson. And being locked in a room, for an hour, with a one year old and 5 year old is torture.
It was almost the scene of a double homicide.
I don't know what it is about the doc's office, but I am always a hot mess while waiting in that stark little office...and so are my children.
I really should take Xanax before I go, and I should give them a healthy dose of Vecuronium.
I hate these visits.
I hate sitting around waiting, I hate trying to concentrate on what the nurse is asking while Carson is destroying the room and Hadley is interrupting, I hate the damn tissue paper that Hadley won't leave alone and that Carson eats, I hate the stools they both want to stand on, I hate that I am constantly wondering if we are 'passing', and I hate that my first instinct is to always lie.
Whenever they ask a question, and I know the truth is the 'wrong answer', I immediately lie without, so much, as a flinch.
Nurse: "Is Carson still using a bottle?"
LONG PAUSE...
Me: "No."
LIE!
(we haven't even attempted a sippy cup).
Nurse: "Is Hadley dry through the night?"
LONG PAUSE...
Me: "Sometimes".
LIE!
(she never is).
Doc: "Do the kids get along?"
LONG PAUSE...
Me: "Yes, they get along great."
Jokes on me, because before I can even finish my senetence, Carson takes Hadley's baby, she screams NO, hits him on the head, and pushes him over.
Now he's screaming.
She's crying.
My sweat glands have just gone into overdrive.
Our nice pediatrician is disciplining both of them.
And we still have the grand finale of shots looming over our heads.
I immediately texted Ryan...
"Get milk and a vasectomy on your way home."
Hadley=46.25 inches tall (97th%) and 51lbs (95%).
Carson=33.25 inches tall (95th%) and 25lbs 14oz (85%).
15 comments:
You are hilarious. I do hate the visits. We have shot paranoia. Stranger danger etc. so mads refuses to actually participate in her appt so there's a constant awkward silence when the dr is asking ?s.
What sibs get along?! Now they know you're a liar!
We had Hudson's appt this week, too - and I can so relate about having two of them in those rooms. I hate how long it takes because it just leads to trouble (btw, both of mine have fallen off the spinning stool and a rug burned-chin and screaming two year old really do not make a great impression). Um, and I tend to lie, too, and give the 'right' answer. I think many of us do...
Love your 95th percentile kids. Can Carter secure his prom date with Hads now? And seriously....the "do your kids get along?" question is just dumb.
haha the lying is great. Surely the medical profession has figured this out and just ticks the box that says "liar"?
Your children and their long legs, plus Carsie's giant feet. Love them. And love how you always strive to obtain that perfect score.
I am sure it is marked in their PERMANENT RECORDS: "Mother is a lie-looper". Next time, tell the dr. that you intend to send Carson to sxhool with a bottle in his lunch box and hope to have him weaned from it by the time he goes to college . . . no shame in that - I took one away from Pete the other day . . .
Precisely why I take them separately. I hear ya, mama. Jon recently asked if we wanted to take a plane ride more than 6 hours away and I laughed as he said Caroline would be fine sitting with him. Uh, right. She's 20 months. So help me god.
Carsie looks like a little giant in that chair. There is something about those teenie rooms, I know I spent more than my share of them with you in there experiencing much the same. Maybe next time bring a bag of goodies and plan a treasure hunt. :)
Your kids are giants! Cute ones though:)
I was sitting on a conference call when I was reading this post. I busted out laughing and I wasn't on mute.
Love this one!!!
I was sitting on a conference call when I was reading this post. I busted out laughing and I wasn't on mute.
Love this one!!!
Love this! I am always a hot mess at the dr. with only one baby.
just another day for the prentice family. we are very boring compared to you and your hooligans. tall and skinnies.
Gosh you guys grow'em big. And bubbly.
omg. i could have written this myself. i hate it too! i am always a hot, sweaty mess. only difference is i tell the truth and they hate me. i once asked my ped to smell ila's crotch. they think i am a lunatic! oh my...we sooooo need to get together. oh, and ry's vas is scheduled for may. ;)
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