'you have a baby...in a bar'.

Actually we had TWO babies in a bar. Who says parenthood isn't fun? The six of us ventured out to the Montlake Pub a few Saturdays ago (okay, a LONG time ago). I was totally stoked to throw my kid in a pit of toys, and for us adults to just enjoy our beverages and, more importantly, each other...interrupted, for at least an hour...is that too much to ask??? The answer is yes, because a group of annoying, angry, stuck up, foreign, birthday party goers completely hogged the kid pit. So I was stuck with my kid, by my side, spilling drinks, and acting up. So much for that plan. Next time we go to the kid bar, the kids stay home.

Don't both babes look THRILLED to be there? And I'm looking like maybe I need a round of Tequila shots. I kind of don't do well when things don't go as planned. Shocking, I know.

head on over.

Catch a virus or two, and if you're lucky...a bacterial infection to boot. We've got Parvo, Streptococcus, RSV...you name it. We'll even throw in an angry red rash. We're like a little petri dish of misery.

But we're all better now. Thank God for antibiotics, I really think they may change the future of medicine.

had to share.

The funniest thing I've heard in quite some time...

Hads and I were at 'jumping school' aka physical therapy and a kid comes up to Hadley and just starts jabbering away. He asks Hadley how old she is and she says "almost 3" and he says "well I'm 6 almost 7, and I'm in first grade...and I am going to die before you because I'm older." Guess Hads got burned on that one.

abc's...kind of.

All 26 letters are totally overrated.

karma.

At Christmas time I knew 'Santa' had no business buying a two year old a cloth baby doll that cost $39.99, but against my better judgement, and after one too many egg nogs, I broke down and got 'Abby' for my dear Hadley. Ever since then I have encouraged her to play with 'Abby', whose name has been legally changed to 'Baby Davis', over her bathtub baby, chemo baby, and pink baby. And much to my chagrin, Baby Davis is always picked last. Then one morning I walk into Hadley's room to find this. Baby Davis covered in desitin. Wow, no wonder Hads didn't want to ever play with her, she must have had one hell of a rash. Hadley's favorite part of the desitin debacle...'Look Mama, I gave Baby Davis a beard', in her proudest little voice. Poor Baby Davis, she's such the red-headed step child.

(*but do know, I wasn't going down without a fight, I googled 'how to get desitin out', and after 24 hours of soaking, washing, and scrubbing, Baby Davis is good as very moderatley used...so take that Hadley Jane*).

date night.

Hadley practicing the old 'yawn and stretch' move on her baby. Looks like it needs some work, I'm thinking she's not getting much passed first base on this date.

they put the 'F' in fun....and the 'U' & the 'N'.

A few weekends ago, Ryan and his bike team (nerd alert) pedaled their little legs all the way to Anacortes. Ry had no trouble talking me into meeting him at the end of this 100 mile jaunt, because my reward (and his too) was inviting ourselves over to the Johnstons' for dinner, beers, and lots of gab. Hadley had a quite a time with Grace, Emmit, and Patch. In fact we talk about Grace and Emmit daily, and she reminds me of how Grace and her ate sooo many cupcakes till they had tummy aches, and watched a movie AND ate pizza on the couch (none of us were really in the mood to be parents that night...obvs.) and we constantly talk about all the things Emmit will get to do when he gets bigger. You guys made quite the impression, but that's no surprise, we already knew you were pretty darn great.

Why don't we do this more often?! SMOOCH!

my thoughts on sharing.

This is exactly how I feel about teaching two year olds to share. It is such a difficult concept, not only for them, but for me too. I totally understand 'typical' sharing. If kids come over to our house, yes indeed Hadley, they will be playing with your toys...so deal. And if you have skittles, or M&M's, or any other food item that is coveted by others...then you gotta ante up, or be smart enough to eat them in private. But in the 'toddler/mother world of make believe', sharing is very different. By this I mean, if your kid is on a toy and/or playing with a toy and another kid wants it, then the other kid only need to ask for it or count to some stupid number, and wah-la, according to that kids mom, it's time for your kid to give it up (you following?). WHAT?! How in the hell is this sharing? To put it in perspective, if I was at a Starbucks and saw a table I wanted to sit at and another lady was sitting there, could you imagine me going up to her and saying "um, excuse me, I want that table, so I am going to count to 10 and then you need to find somewhere else to sit...because you need to share" No, it wouldn't happen, it's not the real world. What I want to say to all those kids (and more importantly their mothers) that think they are entitled to any and every toy that another is playing with is this...wait your f*ing little turn, you can count to 1,000 for all I care because the more you act like you want it the more my bratty little daughter is going to hoard it. How 'bout we just teach all toddlers this:

Life ain't fair. The quicker you learn this, the smarter you'll be. And the more I'll like you.

(bring on the backlash).

no cover-charge.

Who needs Belltown on a Saturday night?

i kind of love these two...

...like, a lot.

i guess that's what friends are for...and then some.

You all know her, you all love her...and here's just one more reason why i do. I'm not usually one to procrastinate, but this year I just couldn't get it together. So she took our family pics at the busiest time of the year...about two weeks before Christmas...after we kept canceling. She never complained, never acted annoyed, continued to pretend that she really wanted to do this huge favor. Then, one week before Christmas, I called her frantically (at 9pm the night of the 21st), saying...'I am way too late in ordering these, it's going to be an extra $40 to get them promised before the 23rd of December, should I just pay it?' This is on top of the already $80-ish I was paying just to have them done at some fancy schmancy Tiny Prints-esque place. I heard her mouth drop over the phone, she told me there was not a chance in hell I was paying that much...then went on to ask me what I wanted, told me, 'no problem', she could whip that up in no time, and sent it via email to me that night, I had them printed at Costco the very next day, my cards got out on time, and she saved me well over $100 dollars. Joc, I've said it before, I'll say it again...you're the best. You really blow my socks off. Seriously, what would I do without you. Really don't ever want to know.

she's kind of funny.

MORE HADLEY-ISMS.

I came downstairs to Hadley with the fridge wide open and I asked her what she was looking for...and she said:

Hadley: "I want some more milk, please."

Me: "Hads, I just poured you some milk. You're not getting anymore."

Hadley: "No mama, I just need you to put some milk in my boobies so I can feed my babies."

Me: "Just give them formula, they'll be fine."

AND

The other day we were leaving the house and I said to Hads, 'say good-bye to Rudy', and she looked at him, and said, as she threw up two fingers, 'Peace out Rudes.'

AND

We were heading to a birthday party and I wanted to make sure she understood that lots of other kids were going to be there, and that she would, indeed, be expected to share toys and that the birthday boy was going to be opening lots of presents, but there would not be any presents for her...and so on and so forth. She thinks about this for a minute...and says, so seriously, with one little finger pointed in my face "but I do not have to share my cupcake. I will eat eat it super speedy and then it will be in my tummy, and those kids can't get it out of my tummy. Right?"

No you little fatty, anything that is rightfully in your stomach and partially digested does not have to be shared.

AND

I had gotten home from getting my haircut and Hadley says:

Hads: Mama, you got your haircut?

Me: Yep. You like it?

Hads: You look pretty. You get a sucker?

Me: No, I didn't get a sucker?

Hads: Why you not get a sucker? You not sit still?

thank goodness for Zaide.

I came home from work the other night to THIS sitting on our coffee table. I looked at Ry and said "What in the hell is that monstrosity?" He replied "Hadley wore it home from your mom's today." "Was my mom mad at her?", I ask. And he laughed and said "No, they wore those hats to help them to find puddles." "Are you being serious, because I'm tired and had a long day and don't have the energy to fish for details?" He went back to his crossword puzzle..so I call my mom to get the low-down and make fun of her (because this is what I do people, I make fun) and she goes into all the pick-a-dillies of this little art project, and all the fun they had making their hats, and how much the girls loved it. And I continue to make fun of her, eat dinner, and go to bed.

The next morning Hadley wakes up and the very first thing she says to me is "Mama, did you see my puddle finding hat I made with Zaide?" We head immediately downstairs and she goes over what each and every little thing on the hat does and why exactly it helps her to find mud puddles. Probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Cute that she remembered what each item 'meant', cute that she truly believed it helped find mud puddles, and cutest of all that my mom always does the most crazy, most creative things with her grand-girls (stuff I would never in a million years do). She really is the grandma that dreams are made of. And nope, I still don't feel bad for making fun of her, but I sure do love her.

reality.

For all you glowing, happy, new mom's, with your little babies tucked nicely and quietly in their baby bjorn's while you browse peacefully through shops, eat your uninterrupted lunch, and gab on your cell phone without a care in the world...here's what you have to look forward to. So ha.

we celebrated like rockstars.

A few weeks ago was our 6 year anniversary...and we got after it. Ry surprised me with a hotel in the big city, and I'll tell you what, we couldn't get rid of Hadley quick enough. I'm pretty sure we dropped her off at Nana & Pa's without even saying 'hello or goodbye'...just a drop kick from the car. We made the most of every single minute of our much beloved free time. Started at Pike Place Brewery, after a nice little buzz, walked around Pike Place Market, hit up the original Starbucks, then up to Pacific Place, did some shopping, then back to the hotel, freshened up, back down to Pike Street for some cocktails at Cutters, then dinner at Etta's, walked some more, hit up The Brooklyn for another drink, then went to Kell's...too crowded, tried the Owl & Thistle, realized we were much too old for these co-ed bars we once inhabited, so we did something wild, we went to the Can-Can burlesque show at Pike Place Market...there we could sit, park our walkers, drink, be entertained, and just enjoy each other. And did we ever. After that, we headed back 'home', and my wild husband wasn't finished just yet, so he went down the way to the W hotel for another drink...by himself. And the next morning...well, we spent that hungover...much like every Sunday during the first few years of our marriage...before Hadley. And we both decided, life together at 30, it's way more fun.