Somedays, I swear, I am awfully close to being arrested for involuntary manslaughter. However, there's not a worry in my mind that I wouldn't 'get-off' for reasons of insanity. If any of you had to spend time with with my daughter two weeks ago (mom and dad, you can vouch) you might have wanted to give her a 'dirt nap' too. She was IMPOSSIBLE! Really she was a crazy woman, with borderline personality disorder, and a severe developmental delay. I think I may have heard 'i do it all myself' 756 times (and if she didn't do it all herself there was hell to pay), I ignored 432 tantrums...and not just little pouts, I'm talking backbending, limp, to the floor, alligator tears, my life is over (maybe she was on to me) tantrums...she wouldn't go to bed at night (we were at the cabin, so things were a little off), she wouldn't sleep in past 5:30am, she decided no means yes and yes means no, and was not satisfied with a thing in the world. I was fresh out of patience (you know how long it takes for a 2 year old to put their socks on...an eternity), fresh out of reasoning with her, and fresh out of marbles (meaning I had lost all of mine). And then the fog lifted...and minutes before I was going to put in a call to Brad and Angelina's 'people' to see if they were ready to adopt a Caucasian kid...she won us back over. A simple kiss on the lips, a gaint hug followed by a pat on the back, an 'i sorry mama, i wuv you mama', and a little smirk when she said ' I wan muney peas', made my heart go pitter patter, gave me a smile ear to ear...and I put back the cyanide that I was planning to sprinkle atop her Lucky Charms.
God, she better hope she stays this cute as a teenager...or I should think about sending my measurements to the Monroe Correctional Center.
19 comments:
how come u are so funny?? I love these posts. I love you being so friggin honest about what it is like being a parent. even the 'bad' times seem pretty ok when you do a post like this. so glad little miss h. is back to being herself and won you over with an i wuv u.
okay pretty much what Megan has described is absolutley true...the 100 degree heat did not help a bit. Meg and Ry left her at the cabin with us for 3 days while they went off camping, at the height of the heat mind you. The crying, beck bends and "do it myself" attitude were readily apparent. When Meg picked her up I innocently mentioned her behavior and lack of naps. Miss. M quickly shot back with a veneer of disgust "well, why didn't you make her take a longer nap?" I just smiled as I knew what she was driving away with and what her life was going to be like for the next 3 days. Kids and gkids-you gotta love em. No dirt naps though, you'd miss all the fun.
Um, mom maybe it's you that will be taking a dirt nap. And we were gone for 1.5 days (although i'm sure it felt longer)...just for the record. Jackie, if you're home and have not called me your are in deep troubs.
love it! Check the back of Sunset magazine, they always have a ton of ads for 'troubled teenager' boarding school/prisons. Better put her on the wait list.
These posts make me feel normal. You do not understand how great it is to hear that another mom needs to send her measurements off too. I figure for me it might be Jeremy first and Cohen second but last week I was lost and starting planning how I could tie Cohen down and keep him caged and gagged until at least jr. high. Maybe it was the moon or something. But like Hadley he too pats my back and open mouth kisses me and somehow he wins me back with that. I cannot wait til he starts closing his mouth when he kisses. Anyway, thank you for making me feel normal. I am tired of fluffy... I love my kid posts from the not so real moms! :)
oh my goodness Alicia, Jr High is when you def. will want to tie them up AND stick a sock in their mouths....a lot to look forward too. Okay Meg maybe NOT three whole days but you did leave on Thursday and were back on Saturday...so three actual days. Still love that little sassy peanut to pieces.
You are a funny lady Megan! I think this pretty much sums up all crazy toddlers- at least the ones I know. But yes, she's unbelievably cute which totally makes up for it all!
ummm, Megan - when are you renting the rug doctor and wall steamer to help Loutie clean up Hads explosion?? what have you people been feeding her??? I only gave her oatmeal and 7 packages of fruit snacks . . .
MOTHER OF THE YEAR!
I want to hear the explosion story Sue... I swear I feel your pain. Our new thing isn't putting socks on, it's emptying every toy, book, video, whatever, from it's place and NOT putting it back. Grrr.
Oh the explosion story...poor Loutie (and Sue). Hads was playing with Loggie and Tate for the day, all was well (so I hear), she took a nap, Pam checked on her, not a peep, then about 20 or so minutes later Pam could hear her talking in there and she went to get her, and much to her digust Hadley had pooped through the sides of her dipes, and oozed it out ALL over Loggie's room because the streams of poop did not bother her a bit, and she played her little guts out (literally). It was a poop massacre!!! I'm blaming it on the fruit snacks.
Thank you for saying what all of us moms are thinking, and for making me feel somewhat normal. I am sure glad Owen isn't the only little devil disguised as a 2 year old.
Glad I'm not the only one on the verge of murder lately...perhaps the raging pregnancy hormones are to blame. I can COMPLETELY sympathize.
I guarantee you she is getting her molars. Our little sug sug had a week like that when he was 2.5 and finally told us his head hurt, so I looked in his mouth and his gums were bleeding from cutting molars. Medicate her and see what happens! Or medicate yourself - that always works for me!
so glad i have two of them!! i will be calling you to talk me down off a ledge someday! you funny lady!
Do you think Monroe does maternity jumpsuits? You'd be a dream in orange...
Just think how good you will be at ignoring temper tantrums with bebe #2 ! That kid can thank Hads for breaking you in so you will be less likely to kill.
I was looking for cyanide today. Oh god, I'm only on 1. I'll need to drink more booze when he hits 2.
You are one helluva mom. Keep up the good work. You inspire me.
Meg, I have read this post 400 times now. I think I might bring it with me to my next therapy session to prove I'm not crazy. Hope has not exactly been a dream child lately (understatement) and I've been hoping there is a secret society of boarding preschools. Let me know if you find anything. :) Keep these posts coming, in a sick way, they make me feel better. Hads - don't worry - you are cute enough to love even in a rotten phase. And love we do!
can we be cell mates???? I think we could run the place:)
Post a Comment