if you're happy and you know it.

Oh that smile.  It makes us just giddy.

no books needed.

I needed me some girl time.  So I invited over a few, now defunct, book club members.  It played out just like any other book club meeting we would of had.  We talked for 6 straight hours, had too much to drink, stayed out way too late, laughed our heads off...and never once mentioned a book.

...and then Heather and I went to Prom.

some funny.

Just a few funny things this kid has done or said of late.

She went to a Disney show with Nana last weekend, and got to spend the night before the big event.  She wanted to pack this tutu/skirt, and I said, 'how about we don't.'  I packed a different, more subdued, skirt in her bag.  Alas, when she was dropped off, she was in this skirt.  I looked at her and said 'we didn't pack that skirt, how are you wearing it.'  She said 'well Mama, I waited until you went downstairs and you weren't looking and then I was sneaky and put it in my bag.'  Already the makings of a teenager.  I remember sneaking clothes all the time in my backpack.  Of course it was usually my brothers or my dad's.  Weird.  I had identity issues.

At dinner the other night we were talking about all the things people do. 

She said Mama's hug us when we are sad and feed us.

She said baby brothers cry and eat a lot.

She said Daddy's push people around.

I spit out my dinner.  I promise, Ryan has never pushed us...but he does have a lot of rules, and can be a little bossy.

When I asked more about this, she went on to explain Daddy's are the ones that push the strollers and are strong.

She was cleaning her room and picked up a big pile of stuff and threw it in our room.  Then she said to me, "I don't need this crapness." 

Me:  What did you say?

Her:  Crapness.

Me:  Are you saying crapness?  Hadley, we don't use that word.

Then she looks at the pile, completely forlorn, and stated so matter of factly, 

'Well it is crap, look at it.'

I then turned to Ryan, completely shaking with laughter, unable to speak, while he reaffirmed to her that we certainly don't use that word.

I honestly don't know where she heard it.  I would have said shit, not crap.  So it wasn't from me.

It made my night.

the cutest.

He really, really is.

mama's boy.

This little guy loves his Mama like nobodies business.  You can tell by my tired eyes, a darkened circles...I am always the one he wants...at all hours (usually 10pm, 2am, 4am...and so on).  Truly, the minute I take him, he grabs onto my shirt and holds on for dear life...instantly.  We sleep like this too.  Funny part is, I wouldn't change it for the world.

our girl.

Joc recently gave me ALL the pics she took the day of Carson's birth.  All 390 of them.  I have yet to go through them with dry eyes.  It amazes me what pictures can capture and how they can immediately bring you back to a specific place, time, and feeling.  This little photo instantly caught my eye.  It's of Hadley in the waiting room, while Ryan and I were in the OR 'having' Carson.  This picture is SO her.  Standing back from the group, arms behind her back, a little unsure about what is going on, a little nervous, a lot pensive, watching and studying the chaos...just quietly taking it all in.   

surprise.

(photo courtesy of Jocelyn K. Brown photography.)

The old debate...to find out or not to find out the gender of your baby.  I didn't find out with either kiddo, and I will tell you this, it's the best surprise there is...in the entire world.  Nothing beats it.  Nothing compares to it.  This is my mom and Ryan when they came to the waiting room and told ALL of our family (Nana, Pa, Baba, Uncle Kip, Aunt Lis, Madeline, Allie, Uncle Kevin, Aunt Val, Lauren, Ben, Hadley, & Joc) that we had a....

BOY!!!

And I think their faces say it all.  Oh, and the screams of joy I heard from this little room as I was being wheeled behind, well that was pretty great too.

poor hawks.

Last, last Sunday we had ourselves a little Seahawks party.  I really thought they were going to go all the way.  But I know nothing about football...guess I proved that with my prediction.  We managed to have fun anyway, and quite honestly, the worse they did, the better time we had.  Let's just say there was a lot of drinking involved, because really, there was no other way to watch that game.

Cars representing with his homemade hat from JB.  That girl never sits still.

The cupcakes I made that noone ate.

Getting in the spirit...with a spirit (ha.).

I always tell Ryan, 'you really screwed up by not marrying Heather'.  Oh well, jokes on him.

Pat is on some heinous diet and can only eat fruit and bacon (or something like that)...this was pretty much his scowl the entire game.

Besties.

Round 2 of plastic inflatable ugly beer hat.

Hadley LOVES Sarah and always talks about how fancy she is.  She is quite fancy.

And now we're starting to have some fun...

Whomever lasted the longest while 'planking' got to dole out shots and jalapeno poppers to the others.  Ryan won, but my Pops was a close second (55 years old people!).  He lost it when Ryan exclaimed "THIS IS HOW I SLEEP PEOPLE."

 

Sarah after her jalapeno popper.  I didn't take the seeds out.

Carson, after his jalapeno popper.

lucky number 84.

Well hello there #84.  I've been waiting for you.  I've spent quite a lot of time with your buddies...everyday, twice a day, for 42 days.  And we've formed a bit of a love/hate relationship.  I remember #6 in the hospital when Ryan was getting ready to give her and he didn't even flinch, I think he even smiled a bit, and I stopped him mid-shot and said "I'm nervous that you're not nervous" (this man has never even touched a syringe before, yet alone injected someone with one).  He told me to quit being such a big weenie and shoved her in my arm.  It was the first and last shot he gave.  I remember #12, as I hurled him across my room, cried, and yelled "I am not doing this!".  It was a Hadley size tantrum. I remember #24 that made me bleed like a stuck pig.  He wrecked my favorite shirt.  And I remember #75 that I gave publicly at a party, a lame attempt at a cool party trick, or just a junkie that had too much to drink.  Oh, and the best part, I freaked the host out by leaving my drug paraphernalia behind.  Yes, we've been through a lot together.  You no longer give me the sweats, I don't shake anymore when I touch you.  I've actually grown quite fond of you.  I know exactly the perfect places to stick you in now, I've mapped out the spots that hurt the least.  I've learned the proper tempo to inject you so it's a nice steady burn instead of a horrific stabbing sensation.  I've learned that you were only trying to help and I thank you for that.  I will never forget you, I have 84 nice little poke marks all over  my abdomen and thighs, and I have bruising the colors of the rainbow, to remind me.  So little shot, thanks for the ride (that's what she said).  Stay sweet.  Don't change.  Have a great summer.  And enjoy your sharps container, you little bastard.     

i have no words.

This was her little 'get-up' for bed tonight.  She was pleased as punch.

smart kid.

Last night he was up every hour...on the hour...starting at 11pm.  This morning he was going to be dogmeat.  But then he did this:

and this:

and this:

Good save Cars.

a little break.

I was upstairs and I hear Hadley yelling for me.  "WHAT?!", I yell down.  "Mama, I am STARVING", she yells back.  "I will be down in a second Hads."  She continues to yell up to  me, I continue to take my time.  And then it gets quiet.  So that gets me downstairs.  And I see she's taken matters into her own hands and is making her favorite...a peanut butter and honey sandwich.  Atta girl Hads.

Then she fed Carson.  And I read my book. 

sweet tooth.

When the boys find out that she will do just about anything for a treat...well, lets just say she's going to be mighty popular in highschool.

two.

The best part about having two...I always get to have a favorite.

And when they are both sleeping...it's a tie. 

ridiculous.

Awfully stinkin' cute if you ask me.  And it's my blog...so we'll pretend like you did.

Carson's got game.

Cars and his lady friend. 

Get a room.

a cheap date.

Of ALL the things she got for Christmas...she can't live without her $11 bathrobe from Target or her $3 cowboy boot slippers I got on super sale at The Gap.  Oh, the money we could have saved.

stay at home mama.

I don't get it.  I don't know how you mom's do it.  My hat goes off to you. I am, hands down, the worst stay at home mom in the world.  I'm just not cut out for this business.  I feel like everyday is Groundhogs day.  I dream of being the mom who does fun projects with their kids, takes them on 'field-trips' to teach them about the world, bakes with them, plays games with them for hours, etc.  However, I am finding out that, I am anything but.  I just wing it until nap time and cross my fingers until Ryan comes home.  I am pathetic.  I am definitely no super mom.  If I were a website I'd be lamemom.com.  I don't really like to play with them.  I'm good for about 15 minutes of 'house' or 'school', tops.  I dont like arts-n-crafts...the mess...can't do it.  I don't make my own baby food.  Nothing that goes in my kids mouth is organic...unless it's a fluke.  Shoot, even Carson's breast milk is laden with caffeine and preservatives.  Seven days a week is a long time to be with any two people.  Especially two small, helpless, people.  I mean, for the love, can't you get your own sippy cup of milk...Just once.

  Maybe I would be better at it if I were blind and deaf.  Because by the end of the day I can't stand the sight of my messy house, it makes my skin crawl and my heart race.  I can't bare to hear the word "Mama" one more freakin' time.  I have nothing left to bargain with.  I have no energy to say NO anymore.  I can't wipe one more body part.  I can't play one more game of hide and seek, as suspenseful as they are.  And for christs sake, I can't answer 'why' for the ten millionth time.  Stir that together with a crying newborn and a barking dog...oh, and sprinkle in no sleep. See, you're starting to get it?  Now, shut-up, and go get Mommy another mojito.

another year.

He's proof that not all men are created equal.  He's pretty close to perfect.  He may even be able to walk on water.  There is noone nicer, noone with a more adorable grin, and noone wittier than this guy.  I dare you not to fall in love with him.  He's the whole kit-n-caboodle...and thank god...he's all mine.  Happy Anniversary...SEVEN YEARS!!!  And I'm not itching yet.

*Disclaimer*

Just so you all don't think it's always cupcakes and rainbows in these neck of woods...the other night, after Ry came home from the Seahawk game, and while he was 'sleeping', and after hour two of Carson SCREAMING his bloody lungs out, and after hour two of Ryan 'sleeping' through it...I pinched his arm really, really, really hard and woke him up, and told him that I hated him.   I didn't get the nice gene he has.  It's a good thing he's cute...the dimples save him everytime.

sigh.

Stumbled upon this picture while going through the computer tonight.  Smiled, and then cried...sometimes I miss her so much I can't even see straight.  Thinking of you Grams...whereever you are.

happy everything.

we got spoiled.

the end.