how big is a baby?

SO BIG!

(He would make a great village person.  Get it grrrrrrl!).

ridin' dirty.

Two is the new one.

He's not two, but he's almost 6'2".

And when we turned his car seat around his knees sent me a thank you note.

Enjoy your new view pal.

And quit kicking my damn seat.

breakfast of champions.

I have three favorite times of the day with my kiddos.

Breakfast is one of them.

The other two times involve them sleeping.

two peas in a pod.

This is Frank's most favorite spot in the whole entire house (besides sitting below Carson's highchair). 

This was Rudy's favorite spot as well. 

It makes me like Frank even more.

And it makes me hate my cream colored carpet even more.

cab-a-lab-a-ding-dong.

Anytime the ratio is 4 adults:2 kids...

and the other 2 adults are grandparents...

well, you're bound to enjoy life.

It's a win-win for everyone.

the never ending birthday.

How do you celebrate being five years old?

Well you celebrate for five straight days of course.

A little birthday eve lunch at the American Girl Store with two of our favorite gals.

And five babies.

And two foster babies.

Birthday morning with Dad.

Then off to preschool to celebrate with Frost donuts and OJ.

Birthday night with the fam bam.

And ice creams sundaes.

And sprinkles.  Lots of sprinkles.

And for the grand finale...we had ourselves a little tea party.

Cousins only.

And no boys...

Except Ben.  And Carson.  And Dad.  And Pa.  And Cole.

The Crew.

My Back-Ups.

My mom made an uncircumcised teapot cake.

Red Light Green Light.

Hide and Seek.
Rock Monster.

Musical Chairs.

Duck Duck Goose.

Pig Piles.

Cartoons.

Melt downs.

We kept it old school.

Thank God we have an entire year to recover.

Happy Birthday Hads.
May the fun never end.

(But your birthday is going to need to because we are tired, and broke, and hungover).

ABP's {anything but PEPS}.

The crew.

A very motley crew.

And this was on a good day.

Tuesday's rule.

But boy are they messy.

a little verklempt.

Hadley:  "Mama, I love you."

Me:  "Hads, I love you more."

Hadley:  "Impossible."

Cue tears.

End scene.

doctor doctor.

I took the kids to the doctor for their 5 year and 15 month checkup.

I have never hated them more.

I used to love doctor appointments with Hadley...but then I added Carson.  And being locked in a room, for an hour, with a one year old and 5 year old is torture.

It was almost the scene of a double homicide.

I don't know what it is about the doc's office, but I am always a hot mess while waiting in that stark little office...and so are my children.

I really should take Xanax before I go, and I should give them a healthy dose of Vecuronium.

I hate these visits.

I hate sitting around waiting, I hate trying to concentrate on what the nurse is asking while Carson is destroying the room and Hadley is interrupting, I hate the damn tissue paper that Hadley won't leave alone and that Carson eats, I hate the stools they both want to stand on, I hate that I am constantly wondering if we are 'passing', and I hate that my first instinct is to always lie.

Whenever they ask a question, and I know the truth is the 'wrong answer', I immediately lie without, so much, as a flinch.

Nurse:  "Is Carson still using a bottle?"

LONG PAUSE...

Me:  "No."

LIE!

(we haven't even attempted a sippy cup).

Nurse:  "Is Hadley dry through the night?"

LONG PAUSE...

Me:  "Sometimes".

LIE!

(she never is).

Doc:  "Do the kids get along?"

LONG PAUSE...

Me:  "Yes, they get along great."

Jokes on me, because before I can even finish my senetence, Carson takes Hadley's baby, she screams NO, hits him on the head, and pushes him over.

Now he's screaming.

She's crying.

My sweat glands have just gone into overdrive.

Our nice pediatrician is disciplining both of them.

And we still have the grand finale of shots looming over our heads.

I immediately texted Ryan...

"Get milk and a vasectomy on your way home."

Hadley=46.25 inches tall (97th%) and 51lbs (95%).

Carson=33.25 inches tall (95th%) and 25lbs 14oz (85%).

gender neutral.

 Glad we have a toy that everyone in the house can share.

Barbie does not discriminate.

But she sure f*&ks up my vacuum with her teeny tiny accessories.

pesky leprechaun.

The leprechaun payed us a visit.

And boy was he up to some tom foolery.

His green pee filled all the toilets, he made an absolute mess downstairs, and he spilled a box of lucky charms and chocolate mint oreos all over the kitchen floor.

While I was cleaning up his mess, I said to Hadley, "Boy, what a pesky little leprechaun."

She promptly yelled upstairs to Ryan, 

"Daddy come down here quick and see what that pissy little leprechaun did to our house."

I think she was confused.

We did have a 'pissy' leprechaun in our house.

But he goes by the name of Carson and his pee is yellow.

Happy St. Pat's.

five.

Hads.

My girl.  My most favorite girl.  My most favorite person.

In the entire world.

You are five today.

A full handful.  One, two, three, four, five. 

A FIVE YEAR OLD!

Wow.
You're starting to figure this little world out.  You are in constant wonder of what is going on around you.  They say the average preschooler asks about 100 questions a day.  You blow this stat out of the water.  You easily ask 156,789 questions by lunch.  I know the answers to about 6 of your questions.  The rest I make up.  Just so you know.  But you love facts, and answers, and learning.  You remember everything about everything.  The other day we were at the grocery store and you picked up a head of broccoli and said 'Mama, this is what a brontosaurus eats.  You know, those guys with the long necks.  They are plant eaters.  The sharp toothed ones eat meat, and people, but not kids.'
I didn't even know you knew what a dinosaur was.
Not only are you inquisitive.  You are confident.  You are bursting at the seams with confidence.  I love watching you in gymnastics.  You are always last in any kind of race, you're the only one that can't really do a somersault (it's pretty wonky and sideways and I panic every time that you are surely going to have a C1-C2 fracture), and your crab walk is...slow.  However, at the end of each class, you are absolutely beaming.  Your smile is from ear to ear.  Last week you said to me 'Mama, did you see me?  'Nastics is getting pretty easy for me.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.  I am going to have to start helping the littler kids pretty soon.'  And that makes me smile ear to ear.  The fact that you are terrible, and don't even notice...or care.  Well, I couldn't be prouder.
Speaking of 'Mama did you see me?'...you probably say this 1,000 times of day.  Or 'Mama watch this', or 'MAMA LOOK!'.  No joke.  No matter what you are doing, you want me to watch.  You are pretty impressed with yourself.  Whether you're jumping off the couch, or hopping on one foot, or trying to braid your own hair, you love an audience.  And I'll tell you what, I am your biggest fan...even when I exasperatedly sigh and loudly say "WHAT?!".  I mean it in the most loving way possible, I promise.
  And I couldn't talk about you without mentioning your brother.  And I couldn't mention your brother without mentioning what a fabulous big sister you are.  You were born for this role.  You've got it down pat...like you've been doing it for years.  Watching you with Carson sets my heart on fire.  Seriously.  It's like I can actually feel it trying to claw its way out of my chest.  You are so wonderful with him.  So gentle, so watchful (except when you were at Auntie Val's and he ended up in the street), so helpful (at times a little too helpful), so eager and willing, so sweet, and so quick to blame him for anything.  Yesterday you didn't flush the toilet, I reminded you that you needed to remember to flush.  You came around the corner, looked inquisitively in the toilet, and said 'Oh, my brother did that.'  And promptly walked out.  I guess what's the point of having a little brother if you can't blame everything on him.  Well played my dear.
You still say elegator (for elevator), ballet parking (for valet parking), parmagon cheese (for Parmesan cheese), you love to use the words 'actually' and 'also' in every sentence.

You love school.  You love the colors pink and purple.  Your favorite food is french fries.  You love playing with your dolls like nobodies business.  You love dessert.  You still love to cuddle.  You love to read.  You love dad's iPhone.  You love to spell.  You still love sucking your thumb.  You love going out to dinner.  You love your cousins.  You love sticker charts.  You love riding your bike.  You love sleepovers.  You love your brother.  You love gymnastics.  You love dresses and skirts.  You still love warm milk.  You love to laugh.  You love playing jokes on people.  You love hugs.  You still love your nigh night.  You love your teacher.  You love having 'jobs'.  You love Sprouts and Nick Jr.  You love swimming.  You still love your mom and dad the best.  And I think dad my be the front runner right now.
I love your little nose.  I love your string bean body.  I love how perfectly you fit into me when we snuggle.  I love that I nap with you 4 out of 7 days a week.  I love that you still nap.  I love that you love being read to.  I love your giggle.  I love your wit.  I love your sense of humor.  I love your cute little voice.  I love your hand gestures.  I love how excited you get about things.  I love how much you love talking on the phone.  I love your 'style'.  I love your swoopy bangs.  I love when you walk in a room and yell "Hi mom!".  I love that you want to be a nurse when you grow up. I love watching you think.  I love watching you figure things out.  I love watching you fail and attempt to give up.  I love watching you try just one more time.  I love when you get it right.  I love watching your confidence build and grow.  I love that I think you are destined for greatness.  And I love more than anything that I am the lucky one that gets to guide you along your journey. 

Knowing, of course, whatever you choose to do or be, will most likely change the world a little.

Yep, I have big plans for you.

But something tells me, you have even bigger plans for yourself.

I am in awe of you.  I am in love with you. 
And there will never be a day that I am not proud of you.
You are my greatest joy.
And you make me smile all over my face.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANIE!!!

xoxo
Your, five year old havin', Mama.

viva las vegas.

Ryan just got home from a week long 'work' trip in Las Vegas.

Something tells me he looked a lot like this by the end of the week.

Just add some bright flashing lights in the background.

And a strip club.

disney this. disney that.

Her most favorite parts of Disneyland:

The pool at the hotel.

The arcade games in the hotel lobby.

The continental breakfast in the hotel dining room.

('Mom, do we get to have that fancy breakfast AGAIN tomorrow?).

Her most favorite parts of Disneyland when I forced her to actually choose something that was at the damn park:

The Dumbo Ride.

The Teacup Ride.

That we didn't tell her 'no' or 'maybe' very many times.

Kind of makes it all worth it.

She did have a blast, just perhaps, not my kind of blast.

Have I mentioned she's sort of a weenie?

But having her ALL to ourselves.

Worth.  Every.  Penny.

smile.

We're back.

From the 'happiest place on earth.'

Hadley obviously didn't get the memo.